You Are the Gift

This post is to share a few final reflective thoughts on my experience in Ghana. Most of what I say will be based on a BYU forum given by Sister Sharon Eubanks. In Sister Eubanks address she shares this powerful idea:

"I am going to speak to you from my own experience now about what I have seen that accomplishes the most lasting good. If you want to be involved in humanitarian service, this is the way—and I hope this is the thing that you will remember from the forum today. You are the gift. You yourself are the gift. It is not the clothing, the hygiene kits, the school desks, or the wells. It is you."

Since returning home I have found my thoughts constantly turning to the question, "What now?" What can I do to keep myself engaged in a doing good? How can I continue to be involved in humanitarian work? How can I continue to find meaningful ways to serve others? At times I feel limited because I lack material goods and money to donate to local and international organizations, or because I am not trained in providing medical care or in digging wells to provide water for rural villages. But as I reflect upon Sister Eubanks words I am coming to realize that there is so much more we can give than physical goods. We have something more valuable than money, more satisfying than food, and more sheltering than a building. You don't have to be a doctor to offer healing or be able to dig wells to quench another's thirst. We make the biggest difference when we show someone that we are there for them. When we open our ears and seek to understand their pains and disappointments, their joys and triumphs, we are showing that we truly care. 

I realize now why I feel so much love and admiration for the people of Ghana. Many of them live in humble circumstances with very few material possessions. And yet, they have given me so much. From the moment I first arrived in Ghana they have made me feel loved and accepted. They have made me a part of their family. They have listened to me, comforted me, and offered me counsel and guidance. The rest of this post will be dedicated to just a few of my beloved Ghanaian friends who have shown me the good we can do when we give ourselves to others. 

Mama Rosslyn (left) and Sister Janet (right). Mama Rosslyn was my first Ghana mama. Every week she would buy us a massive bag of bananas and oranges because she knew I was struggling with the local food. She would also buy us fried rice anytime we passed by her place. She loved talking and joking with us. She gave me the gift of feeling loved in a new home. She still calls me her baby boy.

Mama Rosslyn bought us all fabric to have African clothes sewn.

Elder Grissignon, my first companion/father on my mission. He helped me to gain confidence in myself as a missionary and as a person.

This one is for the many adorable children of Ghana who gave me the gift of joy. They taught me that you don't have to stop being a kid just because life get tough. You can smile no matter what comes your way. 

This is Elder Kambwiri. His gift to me was teaching me laugh and enjoy life regardless of your circumstances. Elder Kambwiri is an orphan and yet, I have never met another person who smiles and laughs as big or as much as he did. I miss that smile.

Brother Quayefio, Sister Margaret (not in this picture), and their family. They gave me the gift of a peaceful home. They would always let us come and sit under the shade of a massive tree outside their house. We would play with the kids and talk about the Gospel. Their financial standing wasn't the best, but they still insisted on buying us crackers and soda every time we stopped by. 

Brother Benjamin. He gave me the gift of a friend. He was one of our investigators and initially we would go to his barber shop to get a haircut and talk about the Gospel, but we soon learned that we could talk to him about anything. We were always welcome to sit and chill with him. 

Bernice (left) and Sister Howard (right). Sister Howard became my grandma from the moment we first met. She more than went out of her way to prepare us amazing meals and to make us feel at home. She loved to call us at random times and say "My elders, I have food here for you. When are you coming over?" She loved to tell stories and made me feel like I was back home with one of my own grandmas.

Sister Theresa (left) and her family. Her gift was letting me know that I was being listened to. Theresa was a sweet old woman who spoke and understood almost no English. All the same she would listen so intently when we taught her. Whenever we came she would insist relentlessly that we sit on the raised bench while she sat scrunched on a little tiny stool that probably ruined her back. Her family also gave me the gift of one of the best birthdays ever (which is when this picture was taken). 

This is Sister Sophia. Her family insisted upon having us over every Monday night to join them for Family Home Evening. We would sing together, learn together, play games together, and eat together. Her family had their struggles, but when we were in their home they dropped whatever they were doing and made me feel like I mattered to them.

Sister Adjei, another of my Ghana mamas. She gave me a home. We were always welcome in her home, and she would actually get upset with us if weren't coming over for dinner enough. Enough for her meant every night. She would see me slumped on her couch and say "Elder, you're tired. Go lay down on the other couch and sleep." She taught me how to prepare banku, make soap, and string beads to make jewelry. I will always remember how good that family made me feel.

This is Sister Sarah (left), her daughter Blessing (front with the blue dress) and the neighborhood kids who pretty much lived at her house. They were always kind enough to help me act out scripture stories. Our favorite was Daniel and the Lion's Den. They helped me learn to have fun as a missionary. Blessing insists that I bring her home with me anytime I visit Ghana. How I wish I could.

Sister Quansah. We would stop by her shop and she would say "Elders it's hot out there! Come and rest for a while until it cools down." Her gift to me was her calming presence. I never heard her speak a bad word about anyone. She only built people up, myself included.

This is Dina and Michael. We would eat lunch at their chopbar every day. Dina would let us help with the cooking. Their gift was to teach me the value of hard work. These two gave there all every day

This is Asante (middle right), Gift (middle left), their kids, and Rockson (right). Asante and Gift have been amazing friends to me and my parents. Whenever I return to Ghana they are kind enough to transport me anywhere I need to at pretty much anytime of the day. They have given me the gift of their time and love. 

This is Antoinette (top left) and her four children. They are one of the sweetest families I have ever known. They gave me one of the greatest gifts of all. They gave me a family away from home. Antoinette has literally sacrificed everything for her children. Sitting with their family in the evenings when things were cooling down and joking and laughing together brought a feeling of peace and joy I have seldom experienced anywhere else. She continues to call me frequently to see how my family and I are doing. She is an angel.

This is President and Sister Heid. They were my mission parents and still refer to me as their son. They believed in me and encouraged me in some of my hardest moments. They continue to inspire me with their faith in the midst of great trials. They have given themselves without reservation to help thousands of people. Their impact will continue to be felt by many for years and years to come. 

I am so grateful to the many people who have given me the gift of themselves, exactly as they are. They have loved me, inspired me, and changed me. It is my hope to take the many gifts I have been given by so many and to give back in any way I can.